Facing my biggest fear!

I know in the big scheme of things that this nothing, but it is a big thing for me. My fear of going blind, losing a foot or having a stroke has been “in my genes”as they say but I have ignored it. You know, if I don’t  acknowledge it then it won’t happen. Well this past week I have had to acknowledge it even though that all these years the last 52 years I have not wanted to. The term diabetes scares the bejesus out of me and it has happened. The doctor looked at me and told me that I am type 2 diabetic.  It could have been something worse but it was an eye opening statement still. So taking this time to reflect this past week and I have decided it is a sign to make changes. It is not a death sentence. So I have decided to make changes in my life to get rid of it. I cannot fathom losing my eyesight nor losing the ability to be mobile in a mobile world. It may be in my genes but so is alcoholism and I have beat that. So on my 52nd birthday I am making change so I can see and get to my daughters and sons weddings and see my grandchild when it happens. I enjoy seeing the sunrise and sunsets. The smiles on my clients faces hearing the clear to close, at closings and being able to see them move into the house they have saved for a very long time to get into. So how are we going to do this. I am occasionally write about my trip to beating diabetes and losing the fear of pricking my finger twice a day. And lose the prescription to the medicine does help me keep regular if you know what I mean. So how we going to do this, we are going to maintain and follow a regular diet which means I don’t know yet. That’s why I’m doing a lot of research to get the facts on how to use food to control and regulate my blood sugar. I am going to start walking a small amount so I can build up to a larger amount. And what the heck maybe even signed up to run a race. That’s a long-term goal on that one. If you don’t mind like I said occasionally I am write about my good days and my bad days and if you have any comments suggestions or thoughts please let me know. Because I know I am not the only one out there who’s in this situation and I’ll always use the experience of others to help me and guide me to a winning pass. So far my first experience which diabetes is the fear of the needle. I’ve had this fear of the needle foremost my life. I remember the first time I passed out was back as a freshman in high school in which I had to get a tetanus shot. The doctor had me in a chair asked if I felt ok and I said of course. I landed on landed on the floor. Since then, I get the sweats, increased pulse, and the anxiety of getting a needle put in my arm. It took me approximately 10 minutes my first sugar test yesterday do it. I did the test this morning and I almost got some blood on my finger. I think I hit the button and pulled it away from her finger about the same time. I did get some on the tab to give me a blood sugar rating. Going to hopefully have better luck this evening when I’m going to do it again. 

I’m off to my mom on Mother’s Day, and see my mother-in-law grave also today. The big stressor is what am I going to cook today for my wife and mother of two. She like starch and she likes her carbohydrates so it might have to be something with mashed potatoes and meat. Thank you if you made it this far in this posting and please leave any comments or thoughts the help me out. Thanks again!


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